hmmm. im feeling rather empty now. pms? haha i have no idea. the thought of moving into the hall excites and scares me. excited because i will be meeting new friends, scary because i will have to be independent. and i dont really want to be. haha yes, i have been very pampared throughout the whole 19 years of my life. having a maid since young, a family tt dotes on me (i was the only child for 6 yrs, so imagine the attention), enough money to live comfortably. i wouldnt say that im rich. just enough for my family to pass. and im happy with that. hmm imagine someone who makes ur bed every morning, washes your clothes, cooks for u, cleans the messiest room in the world, blahblahblah. i guess i would not be able to enjoy all these when im staying in the hall. wad about sneaking my maid there every wkend to help me clean up? hahaha. i think my dad will murder me. ya wadever.

will be heading down to OG albert in the afternoon to get some stuff. PILLOW!! bedsheets, clothes. and lots of other rubbish. and best of all, im not the one paying! wahaha. i have been spending like no body's business man. and i still want to shop. somehow retail therapy doesnt work well for me ya. haha. too bad then.

after reading chio nut's and kailin's blog, i dont know why, but i feel lost. like i dont know where am i heading, what am i going to do, no plans for the future. i feel so aimless. sometimes i will ask myself why am i studying in a university, why am i even taking engineering course when i have totally NO interest in physics? i think its because of my family. its not a very nice feeling to get into primany, jc and uni with the help of my father. im not ashamed of him or what. in fact, i am proud of him. but i really dont want to depend on my father for everything. make me feel useless and stupid. like i cant do things on my own. i dont know how to express what im feeling. im not very good with words. ya. i supposed i have been too spoonfed. i dont deny.

kl made me realise that money and looks arent everything. she has to take a bank loan or sth to pay for her fees. but i dont have to. cos my dad is able to afford. im not comparing. seriously. my dad has been telling me repeatly how lucky i am that he is able to afford me thru uni. when he was my age, he was bothered about how to pay his school fees, and no time for all these sstupid outings im gg to. i am not spendthrift. but i will spend when i want to. erm. dono how to say la. but u get wad i mean. haha. kailin i miss you!!! do u read my blog? haha. ya. anyway pls wake me up soon.

i need a purpose in life. someone help me.

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