Hmmm guess I was glad to have gone home on Sunday to see my ahma. She’s ill and weak, yet all I could do was just to talk to her and reassure that she is fine and just need to see a doctor. She has become so fragile, and she could hardly walk or to lift herself up from the chair. Sigh. Will be moving some of my things back home this holiday. Hope to spend more time with her and to look after her.

Sometimes I dislike coming back to hall because there will be this heart wrenching feeling when I say ‘bye’ to her. The constant worry that she’s drinking too much water, eating sweet things, cooking food that has too much salt in it, if she has appetite, if she has the strength to walk/climb up stairs, if the dialysis is hurting her in any way, etcetera.

On a brighter note, I had fun last Saturday. :)

Daddy has been nothing but super nice to me these few weeks. Ok, not like he’s not usually, just that during exam period, he’s always very patient towards me. And he’ll come to pick me up from hall to the exam venue without fail every semester.

Just now in the car, he went, ’Aiyah, don’t have to be gan jiong! If you fail, I’ll feed you, if you pass, I’ll still feed you. So just do your best. We want you to be happy.’

After the paper, he sms-ed me, asking how was it, and that the whole family is so anxious. Lol. But well, I appreciate it!

Love my family many many!

[[ . ]]* |9:00 PM|

I’m supposed to be studying and here I am blogging. Somehow I don’t feel the sense of urgency this semester. WHY?! Is it because I have 3 open book exams out of 4, each spaced about 4 days apart? My exam dates for the previous 6 semesters were all one after another. I didn’t have the luxury of having 4 days to study for one paper.

Mummy was telling me, ‘Good for you. Ai zai, why worry so much? If you have too much time, go talk to your daddy’. And I could hear my aunt and cousin laughing in the background. *faints*

I can’t help but still feel the fear in me.

Had a presentation for our design project last Friday and it went well! I’m happy that it has finally ended, for this semester at least. Haha. Everyone was dressed in black, as instructed by group leader. Lol. Was so afraid that I’ll forget what I have planned to say, but it was alright I guess.



My bank account is depleting. I don’t want to look at my transaction reference.

[[ . ]]* |6:44 PM|

I know that I am not as smart as others.

Sorry.

Sorry for being such a stupid and useless daughter.

[[ . ]]* |1:40 AM|

Wednesday marked the last session of our HR lesson. So, Mark and I took photos with our tutor, Mr Linus. He’s one of the best tutors that I have had. Well, we didn’t manage to take a group photo cos everyone else has already left. -.- During his thank you speech, he also told the class that, he shoke one of the coldest hands this semester. (he shook hands with everyone after their presentation) and yes, that 'coldest hands' belonged to me. Hahaha.



Ramblings

I miss home a lot.
I miss my ahma.
I miss my daddy.
I miss my mummy.
I miss the monkies.
I miss my pillow.
I miss home cooked food.
I miss whining to my family.
I miss lao peh dancing in front of the television.

I am damn sian in hall. And today I spent the whole day sitting in my chair, studying thermodynamics. Tuition with daddy this weekend! How exciting. Haha.

Exams end super duper late this semester! :( 4th December!!! But one good thing about it is that my papers are all spread out, with a few days to study in between each paper, so it isn’t that bad. Just that now people who ends early can laugh at me, cos I used to do that. Lol.

Needs to recover soon! Where’s my medicine?!

Oh! Daddy has this picture of me in his office. i look super pak-jiao. -.-



[[ . ]]* |7:26 PM|

Work aside, I’m pretty a happy girl! :)

Finally something that makes me smile. To know that I have friends that love me and my family who’s so accommodating.

Daddy was supposed to teach me thermodynamics this morning, but he let me sleep till 11am, and didn’t turn off the aircon cos he said that I looked tired, hence let me sleep in. :) Asked me to look for him in office next week. I would have to plan my time wisely from now onwards.

He was also saying that he’s willing to spend on me, if it is for my schoolwork, which was why he bought another laptop for me the same night the old one was spoilt. I feel bad, but he said that it is alright, as long as I study hard. Am trying!

A feeling that I haven’t felt in a long time.

[[ . ]]* |11:50 AM|