hmm just got back frm lecture. the past 3 days were hmmm... good and bad? yups. lost to singapore schools on tuesday.anyway we are already out of the games. go just go there to enjoy lor. nothing much. went to his house again aft tt. slept early.was very tired.

wed morning,went with him to school. he attended lect while i studied outside. cos i know if im at the house, i will jsut sleep it away. then had lunch. wanted to go to TM. boarded bus 69. scanned my sister's card. walked to a seat. then the bus stopped and the bus driver came up to me and asked for my card. i took out the easy link. she said no, thats not the card i scanned. fuck i took out mym sister's card. she asked me to follow her to the front. fucking asshole man. i was so fucked up. sorry for the vulguarities but ya. i was not happy AT ALL. took down my address and details, said tt they will send the card to the address. to verify tt it is my sister's card of something. this fucking bitch. i was damn irritated la. why the hell is she so 'niao'. then wj told me tt the girls standing beside him said that this was not the first time she did that. i am still irritated. SMRT is already earning so much money. cant i just help save alittle?! im sure they wun notice the difference right. well. so i suppose all the other bus drivers know that its not my card when i scan it la. just tt they cant be bothered and close one eye. thanx! haha. damn shitty la. cant believe my LUCK. stupid bitch again. dont let me see her ever. BLEAH.

nxt worry. wad am i gg to tell my mum if she found out. haha. so decided to gang up w lene. asked her for help. thought of a plan. so if mum asks about it, i will have something so say. like what am i doing in TAMPINES at 1plus when im supposed to be in NUS having lecture?! haha. ya. wadever la. farked up.

oh ya, i went for a haircut before match on tuesday! haha. sham did his thing again. just trimmed off the ends. i asked him to trim shorter and he asked me to try out long hair! lol. i said i dont look good la. haha he said otherwise. hmmm i trust his taste. so yup. just try. at most don like, just cut it off! haha. not bad la. i mean its just a neater version of my previous hairstyle. =)

he saw wj and paised him. said that his features are very nice. not bad. quite shuai. hahaha. coming from sham, shouldnt be that bad right. haha. yup. he's reli nice looking i suppose. haha =) met charlene for a while aft tt. haha she oso had a good impression of him. she said that he's not bad. cos i warned her about him being very shy and quiet. she could tell frm his smile and all that he's genuinly shy and not those gek kind. haha. =) as long as she says OK, means pass alr. haha. anw, he told me tt he's trying to open up. =) yeah

realised that he has been spoiling me ah. in a way that i feel like im taking it for granted. haha how nice of me right. well, we'll see how things goes ba. =) he oso knows that he's spoiling me. cos he always gives in to me. lets me make the decision and all. haha. such a nice guy rite. hahaha =)

im in a dilemma. not sure if i should go for handball IBG or volleyball open cup. really. both teams need me in a way. NY cos they only have 6 healthy players, and handball cos they say that i have iron fists. strong in a wayla. donwant to disappoint them. but i want to go for vb also. i really dont know which to go for. if i stay for IBG, i know i will more or less become alittle known in the hall.haha and i have been missing out on alot of activities these past 2 weeks. kept gg to his house to stay, of cos will MIA la. lol.

im confused and lost. and i havent done any of my tutorial. i better buck up and start working on it.haha. somebody help me! save me! hahha =)

[[ . ]]* |1:43 PM|

hmm havent been blogging for quite a while. have been busy. school has already started for 2 weeks plus. and i dont think i have learnt anything. will feel sleepy whenever i am in the lecture theater. i have no idea why. i just cant take 2 hour lectures! arghs. but thank god i am able to keep awake during tutorials. haha. tutorials started today. and my first tutorial was physics. guess what, i am the only girl in the whole class.haha. should i be surprised? i think the ratio sucks. but well, its engine. cant be helped i guess. there SHOULD be at least 2-3 more girls!! haha. the guys are not very good looking and they are short. haha. sorry. but its a fact. ok,not implying that im good looking whatsoever. at least let me have an eye candy and something to look forward to right? hahaha. =)

IBG (inter-block games) have already started. i dont feel like going for any of them. damn sian la. and i think its a waste of time. yup. and not that im not a very sporty person. but im just plain lazy can. haha. what ever!

saw joanne lim just now! wahahah. so happy to have met her! havent seen her in a damn long time! and ya, being the usual us, we were noisy and loud la. haha she's coming to my hall tmr! yeah! miss talking and bitching with her. hahaha. hai.

yup. been meeting him quite often for now. cos have matches at tampines and hougang. then i will go to his house and stay over. this is the only period of time in which i can spend so much time with him. doubt i will have so much time once the school work starts pouring in. haha. after knowing him for almost 2 months, he's really someone i like. typically nice person. haha. he takes real good care of me. very cautious. but i dont know if it will be like tt aft a few more months. i hope it will remain the same. though he might not be the 'ideal' bf i thought i would have, but his caring and thoughtfulness makes up for it. i have dreamed of a bf who is rich and has a car so he can drive me around. haha and has the extra money to buy presents for me. materialistic i know. but girls likes to be pampered! who doesnt. haha. for his case, its the total opposite. his family is not very well to do and he doesnt has tt extra cash to spend on me. we usually go dutch. not that i mind la. have to understand his situation. now his mum is in hospital cos of some stomach problem. i hope she's fine. then i think about the hospital fees, i wonder how are they going to pay. hmm. ya. really. i just want everything to be fine. but will that come true? hmm. just have to pray for now.

charlene came over last night. we talked about alot of stuff. missed talking to her. all the sillyness and craziness. just feel very comfortable with her. u can tell her anything and everything. thanx bestfren! 10 years of trust. i appreciate it alot. =)

not forgetting miss ong. havent seen her in a long time too. hai. i think hall is really taking up alot of my time. damn it. i miss my grandma. eventhough i went home yesterday. i hardly had time to talk to her. hai. i feel very xin suan. i didnt ask if she's feeling well, i didnt ask how is her leg, i didnt ask her has she been taking her medicine, i didnt ask if everything is fine. oh ya, she told me this morning tt her leg feels very suan and painful. i feel so useless! i cant do anything to make it feel better. one month out of house sucks. i know people will not live forever. but i hope she lives longer. im afraid for her. her kidneys are failing, heart muscles are weak. fuck man. i can only talk. no action. pls tell me what the fuck can i do. i feel frusturated with myself. damn it.

later still have stupid IBG. fuck. i dont want to go. but bloody hell. must go. really lor. i want to study and do my tutorials. but i doubt i will. damn damn damn. fuck fuck fuck. suddenly my life seems so messed and fucked up. help me pls. but i dont think anyone can.

ok i am talking rubbish. this is a useless post.

[[ . ]]* |4:24 PM|

omg. having a 4 hour break now. lecture frm 2-4 later. haha cannot make it. gg to slp soon. woke up at 550 this morning. spent the night at his house. cos it was too late to go home. sort of went shopping yesterday night. haha didnt buy much though. bought a demin skirt, teeshirt and tibits. paid 23 for the skirt. how dumb can i get. cos i know i def can get it at a cheaper price frm that fat uncle. but i wanted to get one la. so yup. and a pink converse tee shirt. haha. it was not bad. 20bucks. wanted this green polo looking top frm topshop.but the sleve looked uneven. so i didnt get it. but its vv nice. i think i might get it another day. haha yeah! =) oh ya, OG was selling hello panda in a huge container for $5.50! got one. omg i love it man! haha.

went to his house for dinner aft tt. his mum's cooking was not bad. haha but the curry abit no taste. mayb im too used to my grandma's cooking alr. haha. no offence. the meat was very good though! =) had ice jelly for dessert. haha it was damn sweet!! yucks.!

trying not to think so much about the future. he is not confident of his looks. i told him tt its alright. i dont want my frens to know my bf for his looks. i rather they know him for his caring and loving nature. well. haha yups. tts true. he said tt many of his frens who have seen me said that im pretty. haha. u must be kidding. then he compared that my friends dont tell me tt he's good looking. i said yes. a few did. but why would i want such a good looking bf? sort of no point right? and he's afraid that i will leave him. told him not to think so much about it. i don want to give empty promises. hmmm. whenever he says that, shaoliang will come into my mind. how sucky can that get? he's not showing me much attention alr. i take it as its a good sign. haha. talk about this more another day.

going to slp aft printing my notes. sian man. bleah

[[ . ]]* |10:54 AM|

hmmm the past 2 days were. erm. boring? i cant find a suitable word to discribe.haha.

went sentosa yesterday morning till about 3 plus. it was notbad la. but the opponents were not very good and there wasnt much rally. haha it wasnt as fun as i hoped it would be cos i think i have been quite out of touch with the ppl alr. then like abit awkward u know? haha. well. whatever la.bleah.

aft tt went back to hall to bath, change, get ready to go out lor. met him at harbour front. hmm i dono what's going on between us ba. its like so diaoz... fun when we're tgt. that i dont deny. but u know, i really dont know wads he thinking sometimes!! and it can get quite furstrating. well, what to do right. hmm we had dinner at harbourfront food court. then headed on to esplanade. wanted to wactch fireworks. ya, right. we saw only the lighting and not the bloody fireworks itself lor. what the fuck. i was abit disappointed. but i was at fault la. cos i didnt feel like walking towards the other side. bleah. aft tt we went to brasbasar macs. had ice cream and fries! haha. went back aft tt. hmmm ya. nothing much la. everything seems boring. but i dont deny that i had fun when i was with him.

today was worse. went for one hour lect then came back to hall. slept a while, had dinner, then was the IBG captain elections, now in room slacking and thinking what is he thinking of. damn it.

ya the IBG last for like 2 bloody weeks! including weekends! damn it. i feel so screwed up. i know my family will nag and scold de. but what to do?! i cant help it! u think i want to stay here and play some stupid games? suddenly i feel like hiding in my shell... and nv get out.

tmr have lect at 8. fuck. i dont wan to wake up so early. then i think i screwed up my timetable. cos actually i only have lect till 10. but i bidded for this other module tt has lectures from 12-2!!! damn it. so ya. i have a 2 hour break inbetween. arghs. how great can tt be.

tmr is also block initiation day. i am not going. i told them that i have training. i really thought that there was training. but well in the end they dont have. so well, might as well make use of tt time. i say tt im going out. haha. meeting him ba. somehow my life seems to be revolving around him, school and hall. my life sucks.

feel like im gg into depression. ='(

[[ . ]]* |10:37 PM|

woke up at 6 plus on sat for rag day. we were standing under the stupid hot sun for like 5 hours? and i am burnt like shit. my grandma asked me why am i so tanned. and that i looked like an indian. -_- haha. anyway shears hall won 4 awards. best dance, presentation, float and something else. but we didnt win the chancellor's shield! arghs. Eusoff won it. i bet it was because they raised alot for their flag day. hai. but anyhow, i felt that shears deserved the awards. the effort and hard work they had all put in was shown on that day. i was very good. colours and all. SHEARS HALL ALL THE WAY! yeah. haha

aft tt was the inaguration for the hall la. something stupid. i didnt enjoy what we had to do. something like dare to reach the highest. we were supposed to build a human pyrmaid flat on the slope. bleah. whatever. i left early. haha. thought that there was training in the eveving. but it was cancelled. all the better. so i can spend more time with weijie. haha. i was already on my way out when becca called me.haha.said tt no one went for training. so ya.decided not to go too. =) went out with him instead. we went to jurong point.

ya, had a very bad experience. i was molested. erm i was sitting down, wj on my right, this uncle on my left. i wore my fbt shorts cos i thought i was going for training. so dont have to change ma.bad choice. not long aft i sat down, i felt someone's hand beside my thigh.so i moved closer to wj.then, i felt the touch again. i looked at that fucker. his eyes were closed so i thought he was sleeping. fine i moved closer to wj. THIRD time, his hand came close. i looked at him. saw him open his eyes abit looking at his hand there. fuck man. i got up and walk away. i didnt know wad to do or say. wj asked wad happened. told him. he said he wanted to box the guy. i held him back. i dono... i wan stunned la. like what the fuck right. i was purely disgusted and irritated.
i feel so unclean. i dono why. eeeks. it reli sucks man...

anyway we went to jurong point for dinner and movies. haha. watched the wedding crashers. not bad la. its horny and funny. abit pridictable. but it was funny la! we had dinner at the food court. poor wj didnt reli have anything the whole day cos my room was pathetic and had no food. haha. how great wad that?! i feel so bad. then aft tt, we went walking ard cos we had like 2-3 hours to spare. i was the one doing the shopping and walking ard la. haha ended up with a pair of teva slippers for 21bucks and 37degrees pencilbox.i think its nice. haha. ya and not forgetting FOOD! haha. took bus 30 back to hall. it was quite fast leh. only 40 minutes! i was damn tired that i slept.

set the alarm at 620 the next morning but couldnt get up.haha. he was nice enough not to wake me up.let me slp alittle longer. =) rushed to presby tgt for a match with DOT. lost of cos. but ya. a least there was something to fight for la. haha. i played alright. managed to spike and all. but was too tired to block all the balls. wj commented on the way i played. hmmm i think its true. haha. well but im lousy. cant blame ma. haha. went to toapayoh for breakfast aft tt and took a bus home. slept the whole day.

missed my family alot. really.

and about the not spending enough time with my friends, i hope to change that soon. shambaa is going to sentosa tmr! i dono if beisi wants to go or not. will ask her ltr. haha. but i hope she wants to. then aft tt, might be mtg him again. miss him! and i miss talking and crapping with beisi too. i really miss the old times we had, joy and sadness.

school has started. im scared. but i hope tt everything will go well. =) having dinner with family later! =)

[[ . ]]* |3:52 PM|

time check,its almost 6AM!!! and i am dead tired. just finish helping out in the rag thingy.not bad la.felt good.but dman tired cos its like thru thr night? haha. ok im not talking right. just finish bathing, waiting for my hair to dry, so might as well blog. =)

played against KACSC on tue night. won 3-0. not bad la. but the other team was not on form and did not perform as well. i know they can do much better. for our side, the setter did not set very well, bec could not spike her best. yup. and the balls she set for me were too low. i did not have enough time to do my jiaobu. whatever. its over alr. i think i sucked. haha. cant be bothered. playing against DOT on sunday morning. lol think we will definately lose that game. how to win?! all the damn good players la.

went to his house aft the game on tue, stayed over. then he came over to my room and stayed the next night. i doubt we will have the chance to do this once school starts. i am really afraid that we will drift apart due to my school and hall activities. we did talk about issues. like what if i leave him and vise versa. it might sound silly or dumb to others, but i thought otherwise. i dont know how to explain. just glad that we actually talk things out. haha. unexpected from him. cos he's usually the quiet one. =) meeting him soon. he's coming over again. im worried about the travelling time for him. cos its really very far from his house and school.

going to get a printer in a few hours time! haha. but i will have to pay for it myself. damn it. they said that they will not pay for it alr. shit. i hate it. but well, i have to learn to manage my money. and it is getting kind of difficult for me. cos i have been spending alot ever since i moved into hall. spent more than 300 bucks in total. *gasp but it doesnt seem as if i bought alot of things. haha.

realised that i have been out of touch with many of my close friends. =( charlene, kailin, joanne, junwen, brenda, gina, yilin, anli, beisi, bernice... somehow hall life is like taking up most of my time. not forgetting weijie too. hmm and my time management sucks like shit. i dont know what to do or feel. i really want to hang out with them like before. really miss the times. hai. now that school is starting soon, i doubt we will have time to actually catch up. being in different schools doesnt help that much too. haha. well, just hope that they wouldnt forget me ba. haha. =)

ok, i am really tired now. eyes closing. but my hair isnt dry yet! shit. haha.

i cant believe i am actually going to say this, but i miss my family. really. esp my grandma. her health is not very good. and i am very worried. one reason that kept me from staying in the hall was because of her. hmm i hope she is doing well. =)

ok i am going to sleep NOW. its alr 620. haha. have to get up at 11. arghs.

[[ . ]]* |5:54 AM|

omg. spend money again! haha. went to ikea last night with the blk B people. spent 30bucks buying lots of rubbish. haha. but i think it was worth it la. lol

today, spent a grant total of 200bucks! bought many things also la. haha.
asic shoes, $113
adidas bag, $39
2pairs of nike socks, $12
fbt shorts, $10
rubbish at IKEA, $26
i think its alright la. its cos the shoes are expensive. and it is a size bigger. they dont have my size 41!! arghs. its alright. i like it lots! quite plain with orange asic pattern. not bad. heeh. better stop spending money alr man. cannot make it. im supposed to be saving! haha. hmmm we'll see about that soon.

tmr we have to wake up at like 4am?! to help out with flag day. i dont feel like gg lor. sian diao. and the JCRC pres is in my grp of 4! how lucky can i get. well i mean he's a nice person la.but hmmm i think it most prob will be all work la. cant reli slack. haha. someone help me!! then at night, have competition leh! sian diao. i don think i will be playing much la. just jumping ard can alr. so stupid lor. and i have libero to take over when i am at the back row. damn bloody sian la! so i go there for what? i dont see a point. bleah. whatever. im so bored man!

might be staying out tmr night. =)

[[ . ]]* |8:38 PM|