sl called last night.suddenly felt so lost.its like the old feelings came back.silly and stupid i know. but i cant help it. think my friends are sick of it when i tell them about this. so somehow, i keep everything inside. its not doing any good. hmmm. he asked me to go to his bdae chalet on the 17th sept.im not sure if i shd go or not. depends la.but i really would like to see him in person.

kailin told me not to sucumb to him.but somehow i can feel myself falling again.not tt wj is not good or what. but ya. its just that i want something i cant have? hmm i dono how to put it in words. just ya. he seems muchbetter than what i have. i have to learn to appricate what i have. i am trying at least. but sometimes wj seems abit odd. like i have no idea what is he thinking. i wonder if we break up, what will i miss most. the way he treats me? him being always there to listen to my complains or what. ?!

school sucks. i am lagging in my tutorials and i have no idea how to do them questions. have to do some CTW tonight as there would be tutorial tmr. dont know how am i going to stay awake for 2 whole hours. im sure its gg to be damn bloody sian. have to jia you. i dont think i have settled in yet. trying.

gg out with anli on sat. i wan to buy a sling bag. crumpler? haha. ya. i think so. my mum will freak if she found out that i bought another bag. and such an expensive one. its durable for all i know. and looks nice. haha. 35% for the brand, 50% for the durablity, 15% for the 'want'. haha whatever. and i havent gotten my sweater. damn . i have been spending money like water. shit. trying to save but to no avil. haha.

some random thoughts. hall life. i wonder how many of them living here are superficial and wears a mask. i dont seem to be as close to the seniors as sab and mae. mayb im comparing too much. but ya. i dont know. its not that im not friendly or what. but mayb we're of the wrong wavelength. if only the ppl living ard me were like charlene, meichin, joanne, kailin... all my bestfriends. haha. im sure that they can live with each other too. its just.. well. i dontknow. i really dont. help. the people here are nice i dont deny. i like hall life. but sometimes of the day, i just want to spend some time with myself. think about stuff and just be alone.

sab. hmmm. i think i mentioned b4. how 'real' is she? she's humourous, fun and enjoyable. however sometimes i feel tt she's abit tactless. or she just says what she wants and even though it might sound offending, no one takes offence! cos they know that its just her. i bet if i do the same, those people will definately be offended even if i had used the funny tone. sometimes i just cant be bothered with people. i want to stay in hall. but do they want me here? like i said, there ARE nice people around whom i can click with. zhao lydia. i think lydia is another joanne. haha loud and nuts. i like it. but serious when need to be. living in hall, we have to accomodate to our environment. trying.

mayb its just me feeling this way about hall. one thing good about hall is that i can do whatever i want. and have a place of my own to study when i need to. and for the convienence sake. so i dont have to travel to and fro frm home. it takes a hell lot of time. i will try my best so that i can stay next year hopefully.

tt day wj asked if i was staying for one sem or one year. i told him one year. he went' huh'! ya. expected. he said so long ah. hmmm. yes it IS that long. do u have a prob with that? my life dont revolve around you. i have been showing him alot of attention alr and he wants more. i had the urge to tell him tt if it was kenny in the past, i couldnt be bothered less. seriously. i HAVE been showing alot of concern alr. and about his acting weird these past few days, i hope its just because of the exam period. it had better be. i dont want to take all these kind of shit again. its not fun at all. damn it. i cant be bothered for now.

telling myself that i will not get another boyfriend aft i break with wj unless its sl. i know one day we will break. cos i dont see myself marrying him. yup. he's still young in a way. and i want someone who can carry himself well. im just afraid that i cant find another who treats me with so much care and concern as compared to wj. really. he treats me very well and takes good care of me. always worring for me. haha. very sweet and nice of him. a geunine good guy i dont deny. well. let fate decide. how i wish sl will wait for me. *prayssliently* he said he will or mmight. i hope so. really. but i have no idea if he's still interested in me or not. haha. yup. well.

this post is really long and i think i have been rambling on and on about useless stuff and issues. reading friends' blog, they talk about so much stuff, their thoughts. looking at mine, it seems to be revolving arond myself and im like living in my own world. thinking like a kid. immature.

fuck.

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