broke down

suddenly feel stressed and scared. ok i know i deserved it for keep slacking and playing. but ya. the feeling sucks now. seriously. i dont even want to hug buddah's legs. i think i am going to fail everything. and i will fail everything. fuck. great. say congrats to me. its this mized feeling inside me.

i am afraid what i studied would not come out.
i am afraid i will forget what i studied when i look at the paper.
mind blank.
had that before.
dont want that to happen again.
the feeling sucks like shit.
or even worse.

friday is my physics paper and i still have 4 more chapters to go.
saturday is my sociology paper and i have read only 4 topics.
monday is critical and thinking critique writing. dont know how to prepare
wendesday is statics and mechanics and i havent really started.
thursday is math and i have hardly touched a single shit.
my exams are so screwed up.

i feel sorry for myself for feeling like this. stupid me. see la! term time donwant to study. keep thinking there is still truckloads of time to prepare. what a niave thought. HAHAHA. now i am in a deep pile of shit. im not surprised if i failed every single one. people say that its not easy to fail in nus. HAHA. i think i can prove them wrong.

i think i have let my daddy down. sorry daddy. i didnt mean it. really. i just thought i had alot of time. ( which in fact i didnt have AT ALL ) i promise to work hard the next semester. really. i will. sorry daddy. and to my family who thinks so highly of me. i have failed.

i cant find a word to express what i am feeling now. hmmm. still cant think of it. due to my limited vocab. ya. haha nvm.

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went to mizuno warehouse sale with anli this morning. sorry for the trouble girl.. haha. paisae. bought a pair of much needed shoes. hmm then again. its not very 'needed' considering the fact that i still have my 2 pairs of asic shoes. i just cant bear to spoil the red one. and the other one, its not very comfy. yup. so the decision to part with a blue note.

haha nice? hmm i think i must have irritated the hell out of anli by asking her the same question over and over again. is it nice? does it look very guyish? is it ok? haha. then again, what can u expect when ure only paying 50bucks for it. hmm it doesnt look that bad right. haha. i think tis alright. (trying to convince myself). haha ok convinced. =)

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