another week has passed. and there would be no more outings for miss lim. why? cos my parents said so.

shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup

seriously. i just merely wanted to send my daddy off at the airport.
i asked: wad time are u all leaving?
she: 930. u know what u should do.
me: ????

what do you mean what i should do?! sending my daddy off is NOT something i should do?! wtf. forget it. the whole journey there, what do you do? ya as usual, scold and scold, nag and nag like shit.

has it ever occured to you that all those scoldings and naggings do NOT help at all? sometimes people need encouragements too. ok fine. MAYBE you are giving it too. but its not enough. or do you even give me any? anything la. and when i have done something good or get good grades, what do you say? ORH. ok fine. nothing i can do. like be happy for me! then again maybe you are happy for me. but you just dont know how to show it or not good at expressing your feelings. i know.

being your daughter for 20 years and counting. havent you realise that i chi luan bu chi ying?! the more you ask me to do something, the more i do not want to do it. dont you ever get it?! im getting irritated. arghs. just stop it. BAH.

nothing i do will satisify you. only if i sit down and study all day, read my books, stay home, get good grades. yup. this will be such a wounderful example set for my sisters. the very nerd sister. you guys never supported me in what i do or try to do. when i was playing volleyball, the only thing i hear from you is to stop playing it. why bother? it would not be helping you get good grandes. ya. i like to play that sport. even if i suck at it. just asking me to play my best will die ah. asking me to take care when coming back from trainings at sembawang will die isit. and it will kill you if i am home sightly later because i have dinner outside first. because im dying from hunger?! i can never be a good example for them to you. im always this asshole who thinks about nothing except going out and having fun. not bothering about my studies as long as im outside having fun.

sorry for being such a useless daughter, sister and student. im just a useless brainless living thing who's spending precious money used for the family. im wasting money as long as im spending it. or just turning on the aircon, lights, fan, heater and whatever other electrical appliances you have at home. im just a useless piece of dung. you never fail to trample on me like im some pile of dirt. thanks alot.

why other family can be so close. why do i feel so detached from mine. getting scolded whenever im spotted. not that i want to go out all the time also. its like an escape. just like how hall is an escape. i know they are concerned. but stop everything. dont make me feel like im trapped. cos its going to backfire. i dont like it. not at all.

aiyah just scold and nag la. cos whatever i say doesnt matter anyway. i get scolded for doing the wrong things. that i have nothing to say. but i get scolded for not doing anything?! sometimes im just too tired to defend myself. just say what you want. cos why? whatever i says doesnt matter in the first place. why bother? so yup. i'll just shut up and let you scold me. i enjoy all the attacks.

[[ . ]]* |10:58 PM|