just when i thought everything was alright, after all the talks that we had, after the letter i wrote, my world crumbled.

guess it just wasnt meant to be.
that i was selfish and could not understand you well enough.
that our 2 hearts could not beat as one even after being together for so long.
that i was constantly making you unhappy and sad.
that i took you for granted.
that i could not step into your shoes and feel for you.
that i could only throw my temper at you.
that so many things i have done or even changed myself for you could not change anything.
that this list will never end.

i just needed an outlet to 'pen' my thoughts.

you could even delete your blog and delete me as your friend in friendster. i was stunned and speechless. i would not be surprised if i was removed off your msn too. maybe you have even cleared your inbox. you can even ask me if i wanted the present i gave u for ur birthday, other wise it would be in the dump.

now i ask myself, was i really such a lousy girlfriend. haha. or was i too nonchalent about stuff. all the so called happiness that we had, the laughter and joy, was it just a facade.
that things could so easily be forgotten and erased from your memory.
that i am feeling so fucking lousy and you dont seem the least bit affected.

i will get over this.
长痛不如短痛
maybe this would end sooner or later. it was just a matter of time.
why not end it eariler to avoid the more arguements that would arise in the future.
the cycle repeats.

a song has been on repeat.
a song that will no longer be heard on my phone.

i am tired. i have to be strong. i will be strong.
give me time.

认错 is a nice song.

silly i am.

[[ . ]]* |4:46 AM|